Feedback, Week 2: Feedback Thoughts

Greetings classmates,

The two articles I chose to read for this assignment are 5 Tips For Taking Feedback Like a Champ and 14 Signs Your Perfectionism Has Gotten Out of Control by Megan Bruneau and Carolyn Gregoire, respectably. Here is a link to the first article and to the second. It must be made know that I am an extreme perfectionist that has trouble settling for anything less than the best. I thrive on the approval of others and desire to exceed expectations. That being said, I do have a bit of trouble with criticism and accepting feedback, though perhaps not as much as the articles indicate. One point I found useful in Megan's article was this: "When we treat ourselves with empathy, compassion, and believe we are 'good enough' amidst our flaws and weaknesses - while still desiring growth and development - we make space for the painful feelings that come up when someone gives us feedback." In other words, I believe what the author is stating is that we need to show mercy not just to other people but also to ourselves. That is, we need to recognize that we too are just human beings, neither perfect yet at the same time possessing the potential for growth, and thus make peace with our imperfections while simultaneously always striving to better ourselves. If I could add to that, I believe we also need to accept that our own self worth is not predicated upon the approval of others, as that is often one of the driving forces of perfectionism as explained in Carolyn's article. Indeed, she writes, "Perfectionists learn early on to live by the words 'I achieve, therefore I am' - and nothing thrills them quite like impressing others (or themselves) with their performance." This very much describes my own personality both in school, work, and in my personal life where I always strive to be the very best even if it leaves me completely spent and exhausted. It is rumored that Julius Augustus Caesar himself once stated that it is better to be first in a village than second in Rome. Carolyn's next point also ties very well into this. That is, "For perfectionists, life is an all or nothing game. When a perfectionist sets her mind to something, her powerful drive and ambition can lead her to stop at nothing to accomplish that goal." The danger with such thinking is that if we always aim for perfection without accepting the possibility of anything less then we are going to be disappointed. It can hinder us not only from receiving healthy criticism but also from being at peace with ourselves. In conclusion, some of the best feedback I have ever received in life and especially in an academic setting is when the critic provides you with positive steps you can take to improve your performance instead of just going on a long diatribe about everything wrong with it.

James.